Blog
Here we pen our stories about our latest activities and our weekly feature on Humans of Medicine. Our team is forever expanding, if you’re interest in contributing to our blog, feel free to contact us.
“...it is up to us to break the taboo.”
I started out great with aspirations to become a good doctor and was offered a scholarship to read medicine in China. Life, in simple terms, wasn’t going too badly. Who would have known I would also fall victim to depression.……
“A hug may not seem much to you, but to me, it is everything.”
The ever-waging war in my mind compelled me to isolate myself from the world. Toxic and pessimistic thoughts clouded my rational mind and sound judgement. I was well acquainted with the feeling of loneliness and hopelessness but when they became too overbearing, I succumbed to the temptation of self-harming.……
“It felt as if I was living life from a third person’s point of view.”
It was my second year in medical school- the first time I experienced an overbearing wave of sadness. I knew something was off, it was way too soon for me to be graduating from a bright-eyed freshie to a beaten-up medical student. The dread loomed for weeks before I decided to see a GP, who slotted me in a two-month long waiting list. I was lost, depressed and desperate; my condition was spiralling downwards every single day.
Yet, all I could do was wait. .……
“My brain felt like a lump of tangled threads that wouldn’t untangle no matter how hard I tried.”
I was thousands of kilometres away from home when I started experiencing knee pain. I struggled to continue with my routine; gone were the days when I could cycle 10 kilometres to university. I now had to push my bicycle uphill because my knees would otherwise scream in pain. I used to play rugby with my friends quite often but now even the thought of running caused pain in my knees.……
“...the people who were meant to help me are the very people who contributed to my burnout.”
I am a contract medical officer in the emergency department (ED) of a major government hospital. One year into my current rotation, I started to develop physician burnout. The burnout crept on insidiously. I felt exhausted despite getting enough sleep and had no motivation to do my best at work, which was strange for someone who doesn’t mind being busy with patients. I began to feel frustrated with my workload and became stressed out over minute mistakes. Apathy and dissociation towards work started seeping in.……
“Depression took everything out from my heart, rendering it empty especially in my darker moments…….”
We often hear a lot about people who have committed suicide, but don’t have as many conversations about those who are still suffering. I grew up in a very normal, loving family. Judging from my usual, bubbly personality, people are often surprised and few even are in disbelief when I tell them I have depression. In our imperfect attempt to understand depression, we build a box of preconceptions. We assume it happens because of a very sad situation. We may expect them to look a certain way. To look, well, depressed. And pathetic……