I started out great with aspirations to become a good doctor and was offered a scholarship to read medicine in China. Life, in simple terms, wasn’t going too badly. Who would have known I would also fall victim to depression.……

The ever-waging war in my mind compelled me to isolate myself from the world. Toxic and pessimistic thoughts clouded my rational mind and sound judgement. I was well acquainted with the feeling of loneliness and hopelessness but when they became too overbearing, I succumbed to the temptation of self-harming.……

It was my second year in medical school- the first time I experienced an overbearing wave of sadness. I knew something was off, it was way too soon for me to be graduating from a bright-eyed freshie to a beaten-up medical student. The dread loomed for weeks before I decided to see a GP, who slotted me in a two-month long waiting list. I was lost, depressed and desperate; my condition was spiralling downwards every single day. 

Yet, all I could do was wait. .……

I was thousands of kilometres away from home when I started experiencing knee pain. I struggled to continue with my routine; gone were the days when I could cycle 10 kilometres to university. I now had to push my bicycle uphill because my knees would otherwise scream in pain. I used to play rugby with my friends quite often but now even the thought of running caused pain in my knees.……

I am a contract medical officer in the emergency department (ED) of a major government hospital. One year into my current rotation, I started to develop physician burnout. The burnout crept on insidiously. I felt exhausted despite getting enough sleep and had no motivation to do my best at work, which was strange for someone who doesn’t mind being busy with patients. I began to feel frustrated with my workload and became stressed out over minute mistakes. Apathy and dissociation towards work started seeping in.……

We often hear a lot about people who have committed suicide, but don’t have as many conversations about those who are still suffering. I grew up in a very normal, loving family. Judging from my usual, bubbly personality, people are often surprised and few even are in disbelief when I tell them I have depression. In our imperfect attempt to understand depression, we build a box of preconceptions. We assume it happens because of a very sad situation. We may expect them to look a certain way. To look, well, depressed. And pathetic……